today is total defence day.. i think..

early in the morning need to go field to pitch tent..

it was so boring..

class 511 won..

after all my lesson.. i went to anglican high to find him..

try to contact him but can't.. text him.. and call many time..

but no answer.. too engross in watching match le and his phone was in the bag..

went there to find him.. sit somewhere around him..

we never talk much..

finish watching match.. we walked to 85 market to have so called dinner..

all the way to there..

friends have ask me wat happen? why i sian sian de..

but not him till after they ask..

most of the time.. i m walking alone.. far behind them..

he ask me wat happen to me den i say nothing..

den he keep walking.. izzit can't see tat i m tired?

why can't him jst slow down his foot step and not walking wif his brothers..

reach there..

i m happy tat he sit wif me alone at a table wif no other people.

we talk abit..

after eating..

back to same again..

i walked behind alone again..

the moment of pain inside my heart..

makes me wanna tears out..

but i try to stop myself..

went to blk 116 there de basketball..

he just leave me there..

i finally cannot take it.. my tears drop..

i try to wait for him till 7 plus near to 8..

waiting.. waiting.. waiting..

told him the time.. and yet he continue playing..

i just wanna spend the few min on the bus wif him..

is tat so difficult?

i just wan u have some times for me..

please..

around 8.. i leave the basketball court alone..

on the way to bus stop.. my tears keep dropping down..

walking to bus stop crying..

sitting alone in bus crying..

i try to cool down myself before i go home..

down the bus.. i saw his parents..

my nose was still red at that time..

they ask me......................

disappointed sia.. damn it..

i m feeling weaker and weaker everyday..

more and more tired..